On being a bad Mexican....
And on Chiles en Nogada, Sotol and the Mexican version of Sex on the Beach......
Yesterday was el Dia de la Independencia de Mexico aka Mexican Independence Day. It would have completely slipped my mind completely had it not been for my wife who asked me what the national anthem of Mexico was or if we could go to one of our new favorite restaurants in D.C. to celebrate - Muchas Gracias! DC. I’m that bad of a Mexican.
A lot of how I’ve come to terms with my Mexicanidad is through my wife. I’ve also come to terms with it in the past through inquiring non-Mexican friends curious about the culture and food. On a good day it’s innocent questions that place me in a teaching moment, on a bad day its assumptions and stereotypes people throw at me (TEQUILA! TACOS! MARIACHIS! ON DECK, LETS GO!) placing me in a “how do I challenge this in a nice way? How do I say Mexicanidad is more than just that?” or do I just keep my mouth shut and just laugh? It’s this decision paradox that make either option suck to be completely honest. However, for the better part of my life I would keep my mouth shut, laugh and take the tequila shot (sometimes I still do) as well as try to teach things about a country and culture I’m more removed from every year I keep on living.
Why? Because I live here, because I embrace the culture here, because I haven’t hit that phase in my life when I have a midlife crisis and move to a town in Mexico where all the US ex-pats go live so I can pretend I’m reconnecting with my roots instead of admitting I’ll never know how to fully reconnect with the culture/people I’ve lost the chance to know. So yeah, sometimes admitting that…..knowing there’s no way to “go back” is what makes me decide to laugh and take the tequila shot. Maybe you’ll read this and think, well….. you could go knee deep into research mode and learn more about Mexico! Go learn about the politics, the deep layers of indigenous history, the geography! Go Go Go!
But stay is what I do instead because I’m rooted here now. I thrive on my sole connection to Mexico being through my parents and my aunts/uncles/cousins that knew the country in ways I’d only ever dreamed of. I grasp to the language and my skin complexation as a flag I can wave that says - I belong there too. Though I know living here the ways in which holding those two things as connections to my Mexicanidad erases and harms. The ways in which Mexicanidad dangerously becomes the default in the U.S. for everything “Latinx/e”.
I’m a bad Mexican but I’m a Mexican nonetheless. I use to worry about that. I use to worry about if my children will be “Mexican enough” so removed from the country and as I slowly begin to forget words in Spanish. As I slowly lose aunts, uncles and cousins to illnesses. As we bury them away from “home”.
If I’m honest, I think one of the things that’s been best about living in the U.S. is realizing I don’t need to abide by any standard to be considered a specific thing. I don’t need to cling to a language or culture for fear I’ll end up an old raggedy flag blowing in the wind because I can be all the things at once. Infinitely Mexican, American, Queer a living legacy of my family, our roots and our history all mixed in.
All this to say our tiny celebración at Muchas Gracias with my Mamá, wife and son reminded me that we carry that infinity. Which is why when we saw Muchas Gracias post on Instagram about their special dish for Mexican Independence day - Chiles en Nogada we ran to go get one and readers, it did not at all disappoint. Traditionally (puts on teacher hat, jk), Chiles en Nogada are meant to be a dish served to celebrate Independence day in Mexico (don’t quote me on that I just wrote about how little I actually know, just know I’ve had family members tell me this and google confirms). According to my Mamá Muchas Gracias chiles were better than any chiles she’s had in Mexico (if you disagree with this, cancel her not me, okay?).
The drinks didn’t disappoint either. This one is called the Jimmycomet and it comes with a Margarita y un toque de Mezcalito!
And because we had a paisano taking care of us, he introduced us to Sotol which I hadn’t tried before and which he called the cousin of Mezcal. When I say this opened me up……I mean just that. I felt my eyes open up and the warm tingles of my pores breathing - it was an experience!
And well, if you’ve made it this far I want to thank you with a video compilation of my sweet and innocent madre trying el toque de Mezcal, Sotol and a drink that she ordered thinking it would be sweeter than a margarita (she thought the margs were too strong!!!!! lies) which had bourbon in it! Now, my inner avocado-toast-millennial having ass loved this drink called HAVE YOU BEEN TO TULUM? which LOL at the name because cringe! and you know what I hate to admit, my American butt would happily say the name of the drink just fine LOL. Though I did switch up the name to the Mexican Sex on the Beach because it was fun to tell my brother our Mamá ordered a Mexican Sex on the Beach.
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Reminds me of that scene in Selena when Abraham is telling Selena and her brother about how hard it is because “We’re not Mexican enough for the Mexicans and we’re not American enough for the Americans…it’s exhausting!”
Could relate on many levels - including looking for a Mexican spot for Independence Day with my own mother. Ended up at a place called Abuelo’s. Not the best drinks and the enchiladas were ok. Anyway, thanks for sharing!