I know I am super late with launching this discussion. I thought about just skipping to the next book and providing no space for discussing this book but that feels really unfair. Plus I kept thinking about the sisters in this novel and the questions their story left me. I was drawn in but how the story felt told in pieces. It was like you were watching a movie and the camera feels shaky, you get only quick scenes of the story. I kept reading hoping I’d get fuller glimpses.
So let’s get into it…..
A quick note about Book Club “Rules”
Now I’m usually the type of person that screams “THERE ARE NO RULES IN BOOK CLUB” but I think it’s important to note that I want this space to feel safe for folks to come, ask questions, engage in a difficult discussion, share difficult feelings - without feeling judged. I know that’s a really hard thing to ask for, but I’m going to ask we all try to remain open. That is the rule! In terms of spoilers - GIMME ALL THE SPOILERS. Do not read beyond this point, if you haven’t read the book and or don’t like spoilers! <3
Discussion Questions
*My responses can be found in the comment section!*
I mentioned above that the novel for me, felt like reading fragments of a person’s life - I didn’t get the sense I had the whole story. I think that for me, that was due to the structure of the novel. It was written in short paragraphs, fragments, that almost read similarly to poems. How did you feel about the way the novel was written? Did it at all affect your reading experience?
Following up on that, I’ve read before that fragmented novels - are a great way to illustrate to a reader, the realities of trauma and memory. How trauma can impact what is remembered and how it is told. Did you all at get that sense from this story and the trauma the sisters endured trying to survive on their own?
I got the sense that each sister had a need/want that they navigated throughout the novel, as they were trying to parent each other, which sister’s need did you most connect with?
Following up on that, did any part of this story at all remind you of your childhood (or adulthood) experience with your siblings? If so, what part?
In this NPR interview, the author said “……..there’s not a neat resolution, it’s just living. It’s healing to be able to say these characters just keep on living with their trauma and distances and longing and yet they still love each other.” It made me reflect on how much I wanted a neat ending for these sisters, to know they found a way to reconnect with each other. Did you feel the same way about the ending? What did you take from the ending?
1. I think because the novel was written in abrupt fragments and you had glimpse of all three sisters, I found myself really pulled into the novel. I wanted to keep reading to keep getting more glimpses into their story. I hate to say I did sort of feel disappointed I didn't get more, but I do think that might be a compliment. The author wrote such a compelling book that they made me want to know more about their characters.
2. I found myself thinking a lot about my own childhood while reading this book and asking myself, what would I tell, what do I remember. I know that I could immediately tell about all the bad memories I have. The moments of trauma I endured but I don't know that I'd be able to fold in the happier ones or the more mundane ones? I think I'd have to really sit down and think about it. Which is why I think the author created really full characters - ones that laugh together and surivive together. The book itself though sad at times, felt like love.
3. Uffff the need for belonging somewhere and loneliness, I felt the strongest in all three characters and I connected the most to both needs. I think navigating the two go hand in hand - you are lonely because you dont feel that you belong somewhere. In this story, because I felt so connected to the idea of loneliness, I missed how the sisters belonged to each other and the freedom in that, even though they were only children bearing the responsibility of filling in "belonging" for the adults the werent able to provide that.
4. I think the ending hit the closest to home for me. Not that I don't have a relationship with my brothers as adults now but it was the sense of not knowing them and that separation of who we were when we were children, to who we've become as adults - strangers to each other for sure. I was sad to read about that drift between the sisters and though I don't share the same experience, it was the feeling of it that felt familiar.
5. YES! I wanted healing to look like sisters that keep in touch, sisters that are in each others lives, sisters that you see all the time. But I know real healing isn't a fantasy, its not a destination, its a forever journey and after hearing the author say that about the ending - I found a deeper understanding for the characters and the novel as a whole. The love these sisters shared was found in their own individual paths of healing. In their love for each other despite.
The LBC discusses 'When We Were Sisters' by Fatimah Asghar
I'll definitely be joining for the Consequences! I have that book on my shelves already.
1. I think because the novel was written in abrupt fragments and you had glimpse of all three sisters, I found myself really pulled into the novel. I wanted to keep reading to keep getting more glimpses into their story. I hate to say I did sort of feel disappointed I didn't get more, but I do think that might be a compliment. The author wrote such a compelling book that they made me want to know more about their characters.
2. I found myself thinking a lot about my own childhood while reading this book and asking myself, what would I tell, what do I remember. I know that I could immediately tell about all the bad memories I have. The moments of trauma I endured but I don't know that I'd be able to fold in the happier ones or the more mundane ones? I think I'd have to really sit down and think about it. Which is why I think the author created really full characters - ones that laugh together and surivive together. The book itself though sad at times, felt like love.
3. Uffff the need for belonging somewhere and loneliness, I felt the strongest in all three characters and I connected the most to both needs. I think navigating the two go hand in hand - you are lonely because you dont feel that you belong somewhere. In this story, because I felt so connected to the idea of loneliness, I missed how the sisters belonged to each other and the freedom in that, even though they were only children bearing the responsibility of filling in "belonging" for the adults the werent able to provide that.
4. I think the ending hit the closest to home for me. Not that I don't have a relationship with my brothers as adults now but it was the sense of not knowing them and that separation of who we were when we were children, to who we've become as adults - strangers to each other for sure. I was sad to read about that drift between the sisters and though I don't share the same experience, it was the feeling of it that felt familiar.
5. YES! I wanted healing to look like sisters that keep in touch, sisters that are in each others lives, sisters that you see all the time. But I know real healing isn't a fantasy, its not a destination, its a forever journey and after hearing the author say that about the ending - I found a deeper understanding for the characters and the novel as a whole. The love these sisters shared was found in their own individual paths of healing. In their love for each other despite.