I am so excited to kick off our first-ever book club discussion thread! So many of you are reading with us via TikTok & Instagram and I’m so deeply grateful. I never imagined I’d have more than one person (my Mamá- spoiler alert she did read with us too!) interested in book clubbing with me virtually, so I’m in all my feelings plus some because this month’s book was a stunning and difficult read. Solito by Javier Zamora personally opened up a lot of different emotions and questions.
The 3,000-mile journey of nine-year-old Javier Zamora from his hometown in El Salvador through Guatemala, Mexico, and across the U.S.-Mexico border to be reunited with his parents is a personal reminder of the journey I took with my Mamá across the same border that I really know so little about. And I don’t think I’m alone in that. I think there are many of us that don’t know our personal migration story and though you can say “well…I was born here so I actually don’t have one”, I would counter and tell you that in reality unless you are Native to this land, someone in your family migrated here- that is your story too. Not necessarily to tell maybe, but to explore it and ask questions about it (we’ll get into that!).
So let’s get into it! If you haven’t read the book yet and this is the first time you are hearing about the book club - feel free to stop reading here, go grab a copy of the book and come back when you are ready. It’s never too late to join us because this discussion thread, in addition to posts on Instagram and TikTok (you can join in on the discussion there too), will live permanently in the interwebs.
Book Club Rules
Now I’m usually the type of person that screams “THERE ARE NO RULES IN BOOK CLUB” but I think it’s important to note that I want this space to feel safe for folks to come, ask questions, engage in a difficult discussion, share difficult feelings - without feeling judged. I know that’s a really hard thing to ask for, but I’m going to ask we all try to remain open. I’m not here to teach you about anything you can easily google or try to argue about my own lived experience with you and neither are the folks in the discussion thread.
If you don’t agree with something someone has said - take a quick walk and ask yourself 1) is what I have to add dismissive of that individual in any way? 2) will my comment shut down a valid conversation happening? most importantly 3) what does this add to the general discussion? I’m not telling you don’t comment or don’t engage with each other, I’m only asking we keep it all open, safe and respectful <3
Alright Let’s Get Into It-Discussion Questions
1. Prior to going on his own “trip”, young Javier has a moment when he thinks about his mother’s migration journey. He says “I’ve heard this story a thousand times, but never the details. I know the big picture: she left, got there in two weeks. She ran, she jumped, she hid, she drove. Who drove? I want to see the mountains she ran down, the trees that grow there.” Right off the bat for me, this touched on all the details I don’t know about my own parent’s migration here. Did this moment at all make you wonder about your own family’s migration stories or those you are in community with? If not, what point in the story made me wonder more about your own migration story?
2. That line also touched on the importance of visual descriptions, and how often a story feels incomplete without them. How did the very detailed descriptions of Javier’s journey impact you, if at all? Did it make it more difficult for you to read the book or less difficult? And how did the visual descriptions make you feel in general?
3. Javier writes this from the perspective of his nine-year-old self. For me, I found myself unable to really let myself cry while reading the story because I felt like I needed to be a “strong” adult to listen to this child tell his story. Did you feel the same way? What did reading this story from a nine-year-old’s perspective do to you?
4. There was so much of the story that felt really difficult to read but for me, the section of the story that most impacted me and that was the most difficult to sit with, was reading about how terribly he and others migrating from El Salvador and other countries were treated by Mexicans they encountered while they traveled through Mexico. It felt so difficult and heavy to sit with because I think for a very long time I imagined (I think from being here in the U.S. so long) that those of us that have migrated here are connected by the journey. Because we share this connection we somehow are each other’s community which in fact was not always the case in Javier’s story. What part of Javier’s story was difficult for you to sit with personally? What truth in his story challenged any preconceived ideas you’ve had about immigration?
5. If you could ask Javier one thing after reading his book, what would you ask him and why?
*Bonus question: For those that listened to the audio - what was it like to experience the author reading his story in his own voice?
That’s it! I’m purposely keeping it to a few questions so you all don’t feel overwhelmed. Feel free to answer them all or only the ones that really speak to you. If you have any questions you want to ask others about this book - feel free to drop them in the comments below too!
The next book we will be reading is Fever Dream by Samanta Schweblin! We’ll start on October 15th and end with a discussion on October 24th which will include a viewing of the movie adaptation available on Netflix! I picked it because it’s a short book with really in-depth themes that I think would be perfect for a book club. It is, of course, super spooky and you’ll read it in a day but whew will it leave you ready to want to chat about it with others!
P.S. We aren’t skipping the Nuevas Paginas interview this week. It’ll be in your inbox tomorrow!
1. When it was brought up about other kids or people he know that were able to migrate by plane made me think of the migration of the maternal side of my family who came from Colombia, starting with my grandmother who left her 4 kids (with her mother, while she figured out how to get them here) and a toxic marriage to be an Au Pair in a city like New York after growing up in a very small mountain town. Though the traveling itself was short and safe , the compromises she had to make and control she had to give up must have weighed on her every day. Though I don’t know the details of my paternal sides migration story (mexican and puerto rican) I can assume there are such stark differences.
2. I thought about how much the timing of the political state and global affairs of the US can affect these migration journeys on top of the country of origin , and how different Javier’s journey would have looked if he was trying to make it now VS 1999, it made me feel some relief that he made this journey in a pre-9/11 and pre-trump/rising facism era. I feel like if this story had been from the last 5 years I don’t know if I could have handled reading it as well.
3. Being a parent definitely influenced how I processed the perspective of Javier’s 9 year old self in a similar way. I felt myself thinking about how I could as a guardian in his life may have helped him advocate for himself more and feel more empowered to ask from the adults who cared him prior to and on the journey for what he needed.
4. Again parent and caretaker reading this the idea of letting go of some much control over my child on a journey like this was so hard to sit with. Not to serve as a judgement to the his parents or family who put him on this journey but as someone who can relate to the idea of weighing really hard options on what works best for the children you care for by compromising a huge loss of control was too much and as I listened to it I definitely felt my body tighten as different part of the journeys went on thinking of worse case scenarios for him. When it came to how Javier and those he was traveling with were being treated by the Mexicans they encountered I was reminded on how toxic “nationalism” is on every level and how much borders and race dictate the levels or empathy or lack there of people may have for others. The biggest challenge to any preconceived notions I had was the idea that a border patrol officer would ever be kind of helpful, again I do think the timeline of when this journey occurred impacted that scenario and outcome so much.
5. How long after the journey did you begin to document it on paper? I was just so impressed with the amount of detail including the dates which really allowed me to put myself in story being share and when I would be impressed by how much detail was given I would then have a sharp emotional pang thinking that when people experience a huge trauma precise details are always remembered.
6. It gave me as a listener an even deeper level of consent as this story was being told, because though we know so many books out there where people share their traumas to heal themselves and others but can be still at the cost of re-traumatization.Hearing his voice gave me security and made the story more genuine that it was a thank you to everyone who got him here and a way to provide connection with all others who have migrated not just children but anyone.
I would 10000% agree with you and I think he even mentions it towards the end of the book or maybe it was in an interview that the timing of these migration journeys not only vary greatly due to political state and global affairs of the US but also of the terrain and as we currently see the state of the coyotes/smugglers. I've wondered a lot about the survivors' guilt he may or may not carry with the somewhat recent arrival of so many more Central Am migrants and the family separations.
Reading this as a parent- it was equally really difficult for me to hold myself back from the anxiety I was feeling for his parents and family. I know we throughout the entire story didn't know his family for 7 weeks wasn't informed of his health or whereabouts but like you - even if I was given daily calls, I don't think I would sleep or eat. I like that you bring up judgment because I didn't feel any for his parents either and I wondered if that was because a core of me understood what they were fleeing and the hardships that made it near impossible for anything else to be a better option. But something that surprised me was how when he said towards the end that he forgave them.....I guess I didn't realize that yes to an extent the decision they made for him as a child - whether for the betterment of his quality of life or not - was terrible. I think as a parent that sort of hurt knowing that even though I thought I'd made a decision that would in some way help my child- I'd have to deal with the ultimate consequences that, no in reality it deeply deeply hurt them. I'm crying just thinking about that and typing that out.
I love that question you would ask Javier because I think it we'd get a really interested answer especially given that I think he waited years before revisiting it at all - I think I saw in an interview he kept journals as a kid? I'll have to look that up.
I was so conflicted about his story with the border patrol agent!!!! I guess because in a way I think it feels like some sort of "not all of them are bad" sort of message and I'd like to think border patrols or folks becoming border patrols have agency - they know what they sign up for and what they will be doing. I don't even want to say someone is bad for a job they do but its really complicated with that specific position so reading that part of the book - something just didn't settle in me!!
My family, even though we’re Mexican-American, doesn’t have any migrant stories like that from recent generations. I’ve only recently learned that we’re originally from Arizona, before AZ was a state. So we were here before La USA was here. So this line didn’t ping for me.
2.
I loved the visual descriptions. I loved how they were childlike but visceral, like Patty’s “hungry bellybutton,” or the “crayon cactus” and “cheerleader trees.” But I want to know: what were the crayon cactuses, and what were the cheerleader trees???? Y los lonelys? Which cactus were those?? I grew up in the El Paso area, so I am pretty familiar with cactus, and guessed the ocotillo were the ones the author described as octopus arms, if I remember correctly.
3.
The 9-year-old perspective made this book an easy one for me to pay attention to. I listened to the audiobook, and though my Spanish is limping at best, I kept translating the simple sentences into Spanish in my head, and wishing I could listen to it in Spanish. I think this would be an excellent book for a Spanish audiobook translation, and I really hope that happens so those immigrants who aren’t comfortable reading English and/or maybe never got the benefit of a higher education could have access to the story. For whatever reason, I didn’t start feeling feelings till the very end, once he was out of the situation and able to look back. Maybe the present tense telling, in that child’s voice, kept the story too in-the-moment to allow the feelings to take hold for me. I was very much along-side the author, taking it all in.
4.
The hardest part of the story for me was the end, once he was with his parents and I could sit back and take in his story as a whole and not moment-by-moment. Looking back on it, I think the hardest part for me was losing Patty, Chino, & Carla, who he’d trauma-bonded with and who literally kept him alive and carried him through the desert and danger.
5.
I want to know if Javier was able to make contact again with The Four?????!!!!! Please please tell me that they are all okay and doing well.
Bonus: Listening to the author read the book:
I grew upon the border, so I’m used to border Mexican & Spanglish. The author pronounced some of the Spanish words differently than I would, with the accent not on the syllable I’m used to hearing it on. I don’t know if that was just him reading aloud or if that is a reflection of his original accent. I did wonder if it was hard for him to read this all.
Childlike and yet visceral is exactly what I would say too! And to be able to balance both because we don't often think of children really being able to describe things so vividly or maybe I say that because we don't often really listen to children but wow the balancing act of doing both was so impressive- I am so glad you mentioned this!!! I've heard that there's no current talk about having a Spanish audiobook edition and that hurts my heart - I don't know if we can petition for it but I agree that it would be so tremendously beneficial for immigrants we aren't comfortable reading in English. The loss of Patty, Chino, and Carla was really touching - I'm so glad you said this because there it was grief we all got to feel with him and the in the moment of him not knowing if he'd ever get to see them again - HEARTBREAK!!!! I'd want to know if Javier as an adult ever got in contact with them too.
I did Google to see if he'd found them but didn't come across anything saying he had. He did a great interview w/PouredOver that I listened to, but I think (and he touched on this when discussing his therapist) that he resonates more with fellow Latine immigrants and I bet a deeper conversation could be held in that space. An interview with a true peer might be just the thing to help break this book open for an even wider audience (hint, hint; nudge, nudge)
Hahaha! It would be a dream but if I am honest I'd feel a little unworthy. Though I made the journey with my Mama at the age of 2 and my family and I remained undocumented until I was 13 - our experiences are very different and mine more filled with privilege. So I'm not sure I would be a true peer. I think shedding through the layers of privilege is important and I try not to take up space or mention that I grew up undocumented because I was so young and there are so many migrants and undoc folks currently with more formative experiences. That's not to say mine weren't. Dang. okay. Clearly, I might be gaslighting myself right now haha so let me cut it here and say you've given me lots of food for thought! Thank you for mentioning it because its made me think through things!
I'd encourage you to think on it. You're much more of a peer than the white woman who interviewed him for Today, for example, and even more of a peer than the Miwa Messer, who interviewed him for PouredOver, though she is the daughter of an immigrant and a person of color.
4: Yes not getting to see the continuation of Patty, Chino & Carla was hard, especially Carla being closer to age as Javier, I think how much that connection would have severed as support for one another as they navigated growing up in "La Usa".
I worried that the border patrol guy got in trouble later for 'helping' them rather than taking them to jail. I really hope he gave him an alias!! Good people like that deserve to be protected. He went above and beyond what was demanded because he felt for them.
Even as far as suggestions on how to do it better next time, and to be sure to be better rested. LOL!
5: I was also super-impressed with the amount of detail he remembered! I can't remember what I ate for breakfast a week ago, let alone details of meals from decades ago! He did acknowledge in the couple of interviews I watched that writing this book was retraumatizing, but that he was seeing a therapist and actively working on his healing, which allowed him to write the book. He had previously written a collection of poems that dealt with this time in his life, and he had childhood drawings that he'd done to refer back to.
Yes! And think he mentioned revisiting the places he journeyed through so I think that would help form some of the details he captures so well!!! Also, pretty sure he mentioned having kept journals as a child. Let me go find that interview and share it here!
I'm going to look up interviews with him now, thanks for sharing that. I don't really every look up the interviews because I am always worried it will give me a bias on my interpretation of books I read but I don't read too many memoirs so I think this is a great one to follow up on what the author is saying.
Well, of course he did not remember all of those details and conversations. The smells he remembered. Smells embed deeply into our memory and subconscious. I do not doubt that he membered the horrific journey, but I feel a lot of it is also poetic license. Still, it is a heart-wrenching story of a very courageous and smart little boy! And why would his parents not talk with him more than a few times about the details? Guilt? They should feel guilt!
1. When it was brought up about other kids or people he know that were able to migrate by plane made me think of the migration of the maternal side of my family who came from Colombia, starting with my grandmother who left her 4 kids (with her mother, while she figured out how to get them here) and a toxic marriage to be an Au Pair in a city like New York after growing up in a very small mountain town. Though the traveling itself was short and safe , the compromises she had to make and control she had to give up must have weighed on her every day. Though I don’t know the details of my paternal sides migration story (mexican and puerto rican) I can assume there are such stark differences.
2. I thought about how much the timing of the political state and global affairs of the US can affect these migration journeys on top of the country of origin , and how different Javier’s journey would have looked if he was trying to make it now VS 1999, it made me feel some relief that he made this journey in a pre-9/11 and pre-trump/rising facism era. I feel like if this story had been from the last 5 years I don’t know if I could have handled reading it as well.
3. Being a parent definitely influenced how I processed the perspective of Javier’s 9 year old self in a similar way. I felt myself thinking about how I could as a guardian in his life may have helped him advocate for himself more and feel more empowered to ask from the adults who cared him prior to and on the journey for what he needed.
4. Again parent and caretaker reading this the idea of letting go of some much control over my child on a journey like this was so hard to sit with. Not to serve as a judgement to the his parents or family who put him on this journey but as someone who can relate to the idea of weighing really hard options on what works best for the children you care for by compromising a huge loss of control was too much and as I listened to it I definitely felt my body tighten as different part of the journeys went on thinking of worse case scenarios for him. When it came to how Javier and those he was traveling with were being treated by the Mexicans they encountered I was reminded on how toxic “nationalism” is on every level and how much borders and race dictate the levels or empathy or lack there of people may have for others. The biggest challenge to any preconceived notions I had was the idea that a border patrol officer would ever be kind of helpful, again I do think the timeline of when this journey occurred impacted that scenario and outcome so much.
5. How long after the journey did you begin to document it on paper? I was just so impressed with the amount of detail including the dates which really allowed me to put myself in story being share and when I would be impressed by how much detail was given I would then have a sharp emotional pang thinking that when people experience a huge trauma precise details are always remembered.
6. It gave me as a listener an even deeper level of consent as this story was being told, because though we know so many books out there where people share their traumas to heal themselves and others but can be still at the cost of re-traumatization.Hearing his voice gave me security and made the story more genuine that it was a thank you to everyone who got him here and a way to provide connection with all others who have migrated not just children but anyone.
I would 10000% agree with you and I think he even mentions it towards the end of the book or maybe it was in an interview that the timing of these migration journeys not only vary greatly due to political state and global affairs of the US but also of the terrain and as we currently see the state of the coyotes/smugglers. I've wondered a lot about the survivors' guilt he may or may not carry with the somewhat recent arrival of so many more Central Am migrants and the family separations.
Reading this as a parent- it was equally really difficult for me to hold myself back from the anxiety I was feeling for his parents and family. I know we throughout the entire story didn't know his family for 7 weeks wasn't informed of his health or whereabouts but like you - even if I was given daily calls, I don't think I would sleep or eat. I like that you bring up judgment because I didn't feel any for his parents either and I wondered if that was because a core of me understood what they were fleeing and the hardships that made it near impossible for anything else to be a better option. But something that surprised me was how when he said towards the end that he forgave them.....I guess I didn't realize that yes to an extent the decision they made for him as a child - whether for the betterment of his quality of life or not - was terrible. I think as a parent that sort of hurt knowing that even though I thought I'd made a decision that would in some way help my child- I'd have to deal with the ultimate consequences that, no in reality it deeply deeply hurt them. I'm crying just thinking about that and typing that out.
I love that question you would ask Javier because I think it we'd get a really interested answer especially given that I think he waited years before revisiting it at all - I think I saw in an interview he kept journals as a kid? I'll have to look that up.
I was so conflicted about his story with the border patrol agent!!!! I guess because in a way I think it feels like some sort of "not all of them are bad" sort of message and I'd like to think border patrols or folks becoming border patrols have agency - they know what they sign up for and what they will be doing. I don't even want to say someone is bad for a job they do but its really complicated with that specific position so reading that part of the book - something just didn't settle in me!!
1.
My family, even though we’re Mexican-American, doesn’t have any migrant stories like that from recent generations. I’ve only recently learned that we’re originally from Arizona, before AZ was a state. So we were here before La USA was here. So this line didn’t ping for me.
2.
I loved the visual descriptions. I loved how they were childlike but visceral, like Patty’s “hungry bellybutton,” or the “crayon cactus” and “cheerleader trees.” But I want to know: what were the crayon cactuses, and what were the cheerleader trees???? Y los lonelys? Which cactus were those?? I grew up in the El Paso area, so I am pretty familiar with cactus, and guessed the ocotillo were the ones the author described as octopus arms, if I remember correctly.
3.
The 9-year-old perspective made this book an easy one for me to pay attention to. I listened to the audiobook, and though my Spanish is limping at best, I kept translating the simple sentences into Spanish in my head, and wishing I could listen to it in Spanish. I think this would be an excellent book for a Spanish audiobook translation, and I really hope that happens so those immigrants who aren’t comfortable reading English and/or maybe never got the benefit of a higher education could have access to the story. For whatever reason, I didn’t start feeling feelings till the very end, once he was out of the situation and able to look back. Maybe the present tense telling, in that child’s voice, kept the story too in-the-moment to allow the feelings to take hold for me. I was very much along-side the author, taking it all in.
4.
The hardest part of the story for me was the end, once he was with his parents and I could sit back and take in his story as a whole and not moment-by-moment. Looking back on it, I think the hardest part for me was losing Patty, Chino, & Carla, who he’d trauma-bonded with and who literally kept him alive and carried him through the desert and danger.
5.
I want to know if Javier was able to make contact again with The Four?????!!!!! Please please tell me that they are all okay and doing well.
Bonus: Listening to the author read the book:
I grew upon the border, so I’m used to border Mexican & Spanglish. The author pronounced some of the Spanish words differently than I would, with the accent not on the syllable I’m used to hearing it on. I don’t know if that was just him reading aloud or if that is a reflection of his original accent. I did wonder if it was hard for him to read this all.
Childlike and yet visceral is exactly what I would say too! And to be able to balance both because we don't often think of children really being able to describe things so vividly or maybe I say that because we don't often really listen to children but wow the balancing act of doing both was so impressive- I am so glad you mentioned this!!! I've heard that there's no current talk about having a Spanish audiobook edition and that hurts my heart - I don't know if we can petition for it but I agree that it would be so tremendously beneficial for immigrants we aren't comfortable reading in English. The loss of Patty, Chino, and Carla was really touching - I'm so glad you said this because there it was grief we all got to feel with him and the in the moment of him not knowing if he'd ever get to see them again - HEARTBREAK!!!! I'd want to know if Javier as an adult ever got in contact with them too.
I did Google to see if he'd found them but didn't come across anything saying he had. He did a great interview w/PouredOver that I listened to, but I think (and he touched on this when discussing his therapist) that he resonates more with fellow Latine immigrants and I bet a deeper conversation could be held in that space. An interview with a true peer might be just the thing to help break this book open for an even wider audience (hint, hint; nudge, nudge)
Hahaha! It would be a dream but if I am honest I'd feel a little unworthy. Though I made the journey with my Mama at the age of 2 and my family and I remained undocumented until I was 13 - our experiences are very different and mine more filled with privilege. So I'm not sure I would be a true peer. I think shedding through the layers of privilege is important and I try not to take up space or mention that I grew up undocumented because I was so young and there are so many migrants and undoc folks currently with more formative experiences. That's not to say mine weren't. Dang. okay. Clearly, I might be gaslighting myself right now haha so let me cut it here and say you've given me lots of food for thought! Thank you for mentioning it because its made me think through things!
I'd encourage you to think on it. You're much more of a peer than the white woman who interviewed him for Today, for example, and even more of a peer than the Miwa Messer, who interviewed him for PouredOver, though she is the daughter of an immigrant and a person of color.
Thank you so much for the reminder!! You are absolutely right. I will definitely consider it <3
4: Yes not getting to see the continuation of Patty, Chino & Carla was hard, especially Carla being closer to age as Javier, I think how much that connection would have severed as support for one another as they navigated growing up in "La Usa".
This makes me really hope and pray he can reach them and reunite with them!!!!!
I worried that the border patrol guy got in trouble later for 'helping' them rather than taking them to jail. I really hope he gave him an alias!! Good people like that deserve to be protected. He went above and beyond what was demanded because he felt for them.
Even as far as suggestions on how to do it better next time, and to be sure to be better rested. LOL!
5: I was also super-impressed with the amount of detail he remembered! I can't remember what I ate for breakfast a week ago, let alone details of meals from decades ago! He did acknowledge in the couple of interviews I watched that writing this book was retraumatizing, but that he was seeing a therapist and actively working on his healing, which allowed him to write the book. He had previously written a collection of poems that dealt with this time in his life, and he had childhood drawings that he'd done to refer back to.
Yes! And think he mentioned revisiting the places he journeyed through so I think that would help form some of the details he captures so well!!! Also, pretty sure he mentioned having kept journals as a child. Let me go find that interview and share it here!
I'm going to look up interviews with him now, thanks for sharing that. I don't really every look up the interviews because I am always worried it will give me a bias on my interpretation of books I read but I don't read too many memoirs so I think this is a great one to follow up on what the author is saying.
i worry about this too!
Well, of course he did not remember all of those details and conversations. The smells he remembered. Smells embed deeply into our memory and subconscious. I do not doubt that he membered the horrific journey, but I feel a lot of it is also poetic license. Still, it is a heart-wrenching story of a very courageous and smart little boy! And why would his parents not talk with him more than a few times about the details? Guilt? They should feel guilt!